Monthly Archives: August 2013

Jurassic Park – 3D ***Spoilers***

Well, I’ve never seen the film in its entirety before… bits here and there, that sort of thing. Not really a dinosaur fan. I have to say, though, that I really enjoyed it. It’s a tiny bit obvious from the opening few minutes of the film that it is all going to go horribly wrong – which kind of ruins it a little bit – but it is executed well and looks absolutely stunning.

The 3D effect is very good – although you can tell in places that it has been added in afterwards – but this doesn’t detract from the film in any way. The scenes where extinct creatures are running about really work well, and even this cynical old reviewer suspended his disbelief in certain parts.

As always with films, it’s the on-screen technology that lets it down and the fact that they were running a “UNIX” operating system that a 12 year old girl could hack into was a bit too far for me.

Anyway, great film, really enjoyed it, if it is on in IMAX 3D near you I really suggest you go and see it.

Pain & Gain Review **Obviously contains spoilers**

This is still a true story…

This statement comes on screen about an hour and a half in to the movie just to remind the viewer, as it is an obsurd film on many levels. This kind of sums up the movie. I liked it but I could see why people would not. It is a true story which means there are real victims in this so it could be hard to watch, but as a black comedy it really works. The fact the the three leads are based on real people is insane!! They are incredibly stupid which is where the comedy comes from. We have Daniel Lugo played by Mark Whalberg who is huge and on top form as the, I use the word mastermind losely. Paul Doyle played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as a coke addict who is VERY religious, who steals the show in my opinion, he plays something he has never done before and he is hilarious in some scenes. The last lead is Adrian Doorball played by Anthony Mackie who  is trying to bulk up by using steroids (which makes something stop working). There are various Michael Bay tropes but used to good effect, the girls the cars etc. All the main characters get to have voice overs to explain thier backrounds as well as certain decisions they make during the movie, which makes the comedy aspects really shine through as it is spoken with hind sight and they still sound absolutely stupid. I cannot explain how funny the comedic parts are the comic timing and the things they say are brilliant. They don’t just glorify it they show the ugly side to which I think is important considering the subject matter. There are several familiar actors in this some are very funny, one being Rebel Wilson who in a certain scene made me cry with laughter. Ed Dubois played by Ed Harris coming in about half way is welcome as the movie is insane and he brings some normalcy to proceedings as he is the only normal person it. The first victim of the these idiots is Victor Kershaw played by Tony Shalhoub, he is very hard to get on with, which is a polite way of putting it. It is hard to feel sorry for him but at the same time it is hard to root for the three leads. So I think you are meant to root for the Ed Harris character who is a private detective and the only one who beleives Victor Kershaw’s story. Overall it is definatly worth a watch as it is very funny in places. The true story aspect may put you off but if you can look past that is a very good little film, that is off the wall bonkers.

Rogue River (My IMDB Review)

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I have just had the pleasure of watching this wonderful film. I think if I ever see it again I may just implode with excitement.

I know I ticked the spoilers box thing, but to be fair, not a lot really happens to spoil.

She’s really stupid, gets roped into things so easily she deserves her fate, she screams a lot, people get shot, more people get shot, totally bland sex scenes happen, ridiculous deaths occur, more people get shot, someone gets stabbed and then it ends.

I can’t actually bring myself to remember the plot – as there isn’t one.

Do not watch this film. I think it sounded pretty good as an idea, but was realised in such an awful way that every copy needs to be found, shredded, burned and then dumped somewhere on the dark side of the moon.

The Wolverine Credit’s Sting **Spoilers** (Obviously)

Not to take away from the film, because I really liked it, but the credit sting may have been the most exciting part of the movie. This sting is possibly the best one I have seen.  I was excited for Days of future past anyway but this pushed me over the edge. Just seeing Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart back as Magneto and Proffesor X respectively was good enough (make that amazing). But knowing it is leading to another X Men movie by Bryan Singer, who should of never left the series as director, has made the wait even more unbearable. I am obviously cautious about the new  movie considering the size of the cast and the fact that The last stand was mostly terrible but I will be going to watch it on opening night. Make sure when or if you see The Wolverine hang around after the movie for this incredible sting.